So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
