it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
