Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
