It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
