R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
