Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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