wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize