Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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