were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
