I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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