Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
