My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Are we still banned from the library?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
