My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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