We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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