You're my little dorito
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
