I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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