just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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