Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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  (817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf? http://tfl.nu/ht45
  Replies (15) Good night (4203) Bad night (1093)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.

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  (724): my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out. http://tfl.nu/0szs
  Replies (18) Good night (5131) Bad night (1056)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.

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  (215): He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down. http://tfl.nu/lp4z
  Replies (23) Good night (1851) Bad night (5145)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.

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  (505): Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait. http://tfl.nu/lp7a
  Replies (6) Good night (2727) Bad night (766)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  People are yelling about how much they want you here.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.

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  (651): People are yelling about how much they want you here. (563): I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled. http://tfl.nu/lpre
  Replies (4) Good night (2531) Bad night (816)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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  (708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75
  Replies (5) Good night (2245) Bad night (600)
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  (951): View more from California

  I'm sorry I peed on your everything.

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  (951): I'm sorry I peed on your everything. http://tfl.nu/ktzg
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (1269)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.

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  (505): Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood. http://tfl.nu/7ohn
  Replies (7) Good night (588) Bad night (1578)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI

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  (864): If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI http://tfl.nu/re47
  Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (519)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person

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  (772): The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person http://tfl.nu/qxco
  Replies (1) Good night (1055) Bad night (587)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.

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  (913): the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain. http://tfl.nu/6bo4
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (878)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.

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  (407): I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case. http://tfl.nu/43fa
  Replies (6) Good night (760) Bad night (387)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies

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  (413): This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies http://tfl.nu/p3t8
  Replies (0) Good night (828) Bad night (356)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.

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  (512): He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/4xj0
  Replies (5) Good night (447) Bad night (331)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.

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  (720): I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me. http://tfl.nu/nach
  Replies (5) Good night (229) Bad night (412)

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