Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?

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(815): View more from Illinois

he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...

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(415): View more from California

Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time

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(651): View more from Minnesota

asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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(309): View more from Illinois

my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"

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(802): View more from Vermont

I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.

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