I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
