Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
