We won't sleep together?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
two words...techno handjob
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
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