Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
