Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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