Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
