I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Randomize
