just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
