Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
