I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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