When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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