Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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