I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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