You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
