If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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