Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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