I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
