She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
