I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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