What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
