Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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