A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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