the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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