You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we made out on top of his cat.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.