you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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