Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand

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(360): View more from Washington

there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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(301): View more from Maryland

We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(208): View more from Idaho

My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.

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(850): View more from Florida

Are you still giving blowjobs?

(1-850): View more from Florida

Who is this?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.

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(817): View more from Texas

My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.

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(559): View more from California

You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event

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