Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night