It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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