we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
