Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
