at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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