saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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