I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
