I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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