About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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