i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
