Buhtt sex?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
