The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
