id be glad to
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
