community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
