Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
