so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
