So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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