this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
