he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
