we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
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He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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