Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
