my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
