Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
