just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
